I got a lot of laughs and encouragement pitching my novel-in-progress to various people at Confusion, and I realized I couldn’t think of any good reason not to share it publicly with all five of my blog readers. I did think of a bad reason, which is that you might steal it from me. But honestly, I really think you’d need to live inside my twisted brain to bring this story to life. Anyone who would try to steal it would be better advised to steal one from a more normal (and more successful) novelist instead. Besides, I have a 60,000 word head start on you.

So here it is:

This book is Hannah Montana Meets Clan of the Cave Bear!

Teen pop idol Mina Barber gets lost 114,000 years in the past during the production of a reality television series/archeological expedition. Finding herself 7000 miles from the rendezvous point, she has six months to get there, on foot, guided only by her computerized artificial pancreas, Pammie, before the team is scheduled to be whisked back to her future home time. Mina joins up with a ball team making roughly the same journey at the invitation of a trash-talking intercontinental migratory bird. The whole group runs afoul of an empire of fur-bearing cannibalistic hominids, and are enslaved in its undiscovered ancient stone city. In book one, Mina and her companions must escape to the relative safety of a tribe of peaceful, seagoing hominids who will help them on their travels. Additionally complicating Mina’s life is keeping Pammie safe, as Mina is a Type I diabetic who will die without the insulin and blood sugar monitoring that Pammie provides. Pammie, it turns out, is very shiny and attractive to fur-bearing cannibalistic hominids. My dog, Courage, plays the role of a brain damaged baby dire wolf who is along for the ride. There will be three books in the completed series.

My goal with the book is to make it as outrageous as possible without violating any known science. It’s a bit challenging as prehistory is a moving target. Please ignore the giant tapirs. I couldn’t resist.