Striking a Pose–Cats Show You How It’s Done

Jim Hines did a great job commenting on the posing of female fantasy cover models through his own brand of performance art. However, by his own admission, Jim was not flexible enough to execute all of the poses. Proper execution of the poses is crucial to encourage public discussion and social change. Therefore, I have recruited some cover models who demonstrate the needed flexibility to attain and hold those sexy cover poses. Prepare yourself for the awesomeness that is Strike a Pose II: The Kittening.

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Here Simba the Cat shows how you can achieve the needed spinal curvature and hip thrust with proper foot alignment while still maintaining the casual, almost careless, grip on his sword. Simba’s gaze is directed demurely downward, and he keeps his abdominal muscles relaxed to prevent strain in the lower back. Thanks, Simba! (photo by Brent Shaffer)

 

 

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Courage knows he’s not a cat. But he volunteered for The Shape of Desire cover shot because he has the same feelings in his heart as the pretty lady on the cover. The feelings he has in his heart are that something bad is probably going to happen to him, because it always does. And, oh yeah. Hungry. Deep in his heart he is hungry, and won’t you share your sandwich with him? Also, he would like some calf-height leather boots. Not because he wants to shred them and suck all of their delicious leather juices. That would be wrong. (Photo by Catherine Shaffer)

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Look at that lucious rear end. And he’s got textbook Sad Kitty Eyes ala Puss n Boots (Shrek II). Wouldn’t you like to give him some tuna? (Photo by Catherine Shaffer)

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Diamond? Diamond?!? What are you looking at? We’re doing sexy fantasy cover images. Get on the bus. What do you mean you don’t want to do it? It is NOT demeaning. Look at Jim C. Hines. Do you think he demeaned himself by showing off his sexy, sexy abdomen to demonstrate how exploitive and unrealistic typical fantasy artwork can be? What?!? Well, I guess you’re entitled to your opinion. But I will note that some quadrupeds in this household are team players. You don’t want to be known as the one who sits in the bathtub waiting for mice to emerge from the drain, do you? (Photo by Brent Shaffer)

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Here’s Titus doing “Vicious Grace.” Once again, the feline spine shows its flexibility. His hip thrust is perfect. Also, although the young lady at the right and Jim posed with bare torsos, Titus chose to do the shoot totally in the nude. It was an artistic choice on his part. Don’t think about the fact that he’s only three months old. Well, in human years, he’s more like ten years old. Just look at the art and don’t think about how wrong it is. (Photo by Brent Shaffer)

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Athena is here to say that not only is this pose doable, it is easy. She can even do actual magic while she’s in the pose.

I hope we can all agree that the real problem with these book covers is that none of them have cats on them. The fact that they feature women who are uncomfortable and possibly in pain, even levitating, when they are supposed to be fighting evil is beside the point. This message brought to you by the cats of the internet. (Caturnet)